\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Most of us seek someone special to share our lives with, and perhaps have a family; one to\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0trust our hearts and safety to and to be with us in joys and sorrows along life\u2019s journey.\u00a0\u00a0When a trauma, such as addiction, has affected\u00a0either one\u00a0or both of you in some way, the\u00a0ability to trust and\u00a0enjoy an\u00a0intimate relationship is often\u00a0impacted and\u00a0results in one or both partners acting out in unhealthy relationship patterns.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 See where you each are in the relationship\u00a0now.\u00a0 Then each of you ask yourself what it is you need to feel loved, and what does your partner need? Learning to be aware, to ask, to compromise is the beginning of having or\u00a0repairing\u00a0a wonderful intimate relationship between two people.\u00a0 If\u00a0the inventory of your relationship\u00a0leans toward\u00a0unhealthy,\u00a0consider\u00a0counseling; I may be able to\u00a0help\u00a0you, as I have many others,\u00a0\u00a0build a more\u00a0rewarding\u00a0relationship and life.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Relationships-Unhealthy and Healthy Styles<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Comparison of Some <\/em>Characteristic Behaviors<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/div>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Unhealthy_________________________Healthy\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong><\/div>\n
<\/strong><\/div>\n
<\/strong><\/div>\n
<\/strong><\/div>\n
<\/strong><\/div>\n
Survival and crisis lifestyle__________________Balanced lifestyle\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/div>\n
\n
\n
Defensive with each other__________________Curious about each other<\/p>\n
Reactive interactions______________________Proactive interactions<\/p>\n
Mutual secrecy___________________________Mutual disclosure<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Assumptions predominate_________________Clarifying perceptions predominate<\/p>\n
Fixed and rigid roles______________________Flexible roles<\/p>\n
Commitment phobic______________________Commitment focused<\/p>\n
Blaming the other________________________Self focused, owning your part<\/p>\n
Aggressive\u00a0\u00a0(demanding)__________________Assertive (polite)<\/p>\n
Boundaries are blurred or rigid_____________Boundaries are clear and flexible<\/p>\n
Wants focused___________________________Needs focused<\/p>\n
Unrealistic expectations___________________Reality predomintes<\/p>\n
Avoid change____________________________Risk Change<\/p>\n
Invested in being “right”___________________Invested in the relationship<\/p>\n
Neglect relationship needs_________________Prioritize relationship needs<\/p>\n
“You” statements predominate______________”I” statements predominate<\/p>\n
Discount other\u2019s feelings and opinions________Respect other\u2019s feelings and opinions<\/p>\n
Inequity_________________________________Equity<\/p>\n
Shame bound____________________________Self-worth bound<\/p>\n
Gender stereotypes_______________________Gender awareness<\/p>\n
Sexual frustrations predominate_____________Sexual healing predominates<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Most of us seek someone special to share our lives with, and perhaps have a family; one to\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0trust our hearts and safety to and to be with us in joys and sorrows along life\u2019s journey.\u00a0\u00a0When a trauma, such as addiction, has affected\u00a0either one\u00a0or both of you in some way, the\u00a0ability to trust and\u00a0enjoy an\u00a0intimate relationship […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.caroledefino.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/592"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.caroledefino.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.caroledefino.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.caroledefino.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.caroledefino.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=592"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.caroledefino.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/592\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":615,"href":"http:\/\/www.caroledefino.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/592\/revisions\/615"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.caroledefino.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=592"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}